Saturday, February 18, 2006

lingo

I love the english language (not sure if it's the same in other languages), but one word can mean many things. For example, mutant, it means a couple of things to me. It means cells gone crazy - mutating like mad in your body (cancer), but it's possible it means something spiritual too. No, I haven't gone crazy, yet more and more I am beginning to understand a sense of change in the way I view the world.

The world doesn't end when I die. When my body dies - the world will go on. I believe death will enable me to be closer to my maker. I will let go of these earthly things that hold me back and be transformed (mutated, even) to a soul/spiritual being. My inner-core, who I am in my depths will be left. Mutating cell's and bad genetics won't matter then.

These thought's could, on the surface, appear morbid. I won't apologise for that. My mother found out this week that she may have passed on a genetic mutation to my sisters and I, then I in turn may have passed that on to my girls - it goes on and on... When she told me, I felt numb. I mean, I knew we had this huge legacy of cancer in the family, but, like the ostrich with the head placed firmly in the sand I wanted to believe that if I didn't think about it - it wasn't true.

This is my journey...

No comments: