Town - The Lads

I was listening to my wee i-pod today and this song came on by the Lads and it touched me - weird I know... ;) I found the lyrics on their website and I thought I'd share a few of them here.

Town - The Lads

"I watched the world go by through the window of my mind
But how I saw myself made friends hard to find
I wasn’t sure you liked me although I think you tried
I wanted you to like me, to fill the hole inside"

"Accepting who I am did not come from being the best
Or earning popularity by passing all your tests
The thing that helped me most
Was when the realisation came
That there is a God who love’s me
Who knows me by my name"

The italics and bold are my own, I almost feel as if they wrote the song about me, as I did when I first heard it - bizzarely, I haven't changed much here. I am always going back to my old way's of finding my value in what I think that other people think about me [does that even make sense]. My insecurity makes it hard to make friends, because I am always questioning whether or not people like me, or not - ask my husband, and he'll agree. The amount of night's when I have gone over conversations in minute detail, pulling apart what he or she said to me and what it all could mean. Could it be that the world doesn't revolve around little old me?

I am slowly, ever so slowly, learning that what they said, what they think, doesn't matter as much as what my husband, family, God think about who I am, and indeed, what I myself think about who I am. I just wish I didn't feel that I was such a loser... there has got to be more to life than this.