I have just stolen a blog entry from my husband's blog "my faith", because it is about our middle daughter Aimee and how he views her "special needs". I believe it is important, not only because his views are valid, but also because I have never heard them before.
Life sometimes appears to be controlled by what Aimee can or can't do, what other people will think etc. She doesn't fit into society's perfect image of perfect child (does any child ever anyway?!) We love her to bits, she has and continues to show us more and more of God's love for us - her unconditional love, loyalty, sense of justice and truth motivates us to become better people.
Anyway, take a few moment's to read my wonderful husband's thoughts:-
"As·per·ger's syndrome
Main Entry: As·per·ger's syndrome
Pronunciation: 'äs-"p&r-g&rz-
Variant: also As·per·ger syndrome /-g&r/
Function: noun
: a developmental disorder characterized by impaired social and occupational skills, by normal language and cognitive development, and by restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities often with above average performance in a narrow field against a general background of deficient functioning called also Asperger's disorder
As·per·ger /'äs-"per-g&r/, Hans, 20th-century Austrian psychiatrist. Asperger first described the syndrome that bears his name in an article published in 1944.
My middle daughter lives with Asperger’s Syndrome. Anyone who knows me, or has met my family will probably already know this.
If you meet my daughter, you might figure out something’s not quite right in the first 5 minutes, or it may take many months. It all depends on the day really. Some will never get it – they’ll just put it down to a badly behaved child, whose parents don’t discipline their kids.
Some people who have known my daughter for a long time want to believe that it’s brain damage (mental disorders have such a bad name for themselves), others think we should ask for drugs to help make her normal.
It’s that last comment that always gets me thinking. I mean what the hell is normal any way?
I have a theory, and I’ll be honest and say that it’s not a very solid theory (I’ll let you be the judge of that), as it’s only based on my observations of my daughter, and to some extent her best friend (who also lives with AS).
The thing with my daughter is that she has an amazing capacity to love, to forgive and to feel empathy for others. She has tremendous difficulty lying – the only times we find her lying is when she’s trying to get her sisters out of trouble.
But as mentioned above in the definition of AS, she also has impaired social skills. For one she’s far to trusting, loves almost everyone she meets, immediately. She knows no social boundaries or personal space and when she gets stressed out she seeks solace in solitude and the occasional DVD.
What stresses her out? Crowds, noise and in-justice.
So what’s my theory?
My theory is that it’s not my daughter that struggles to fit into society; it’s society that struggles to fit my daughter. You see I’m beginning to believe that maybe God intended us to all live with the joys of AS, that it’s only as society has grow and become consumer focussed that AS has become a mental disorder. It’s only as society falls further away from God that we turn our back on people who have this unconditional love. This innocent wonder. This desire to see justice.
My theory continues, along the lines that God intended us to experience AS. My theory continues along this line because I know where the perfect place for my daughter to live is. It’s in the Garden of Eden.
You see she loves animals. Animals have a calming effect, whilst also getting her excited (I know I just contradicted my self, but it’s true). And living in that wonderful place with only the animals, the man of her dreams (no crowds) and God.
That’s right, my daughter loves God, she just finds it difficult to find a place of worship that accepts her for who she is (we recently have found a place) but in the Garden, she could have called out to God and he would have played with her, rolling around in the grass tickling her. He would have loved her sense of humour (she has a great one!) and most importantly understood that everything she did, was coming from a point of love.
I’m not sure why I’m writing this – it’s probably spurred by a recent incident that she witnessed where an authority figure encouraged her and others to bully someone – she was the only one to refuse. It caused her much emotional pain. I’ve been mulling it over in my mind today, and just can’t seem to get sleep, so I figured I’d start writing and see what came out.
That’s all. If you read this, leave a comment, tell me what you think and more importantly tell me what you feel.
Pronunciation: 'äs-"p&r-g&rz-
Variant: also As·per·ger syndrome /-g&r/
Function: noun
: a developmental disorder characterized by impaired social and occupational skills, by normal language and cognitive development, and by restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities often with above average performance in a narrow field against a general background of deficient functioning called also Asperger's disorder
As·per·ger /'äs-"per-g&r/, Hans, 20th-century Austrian psychiatrist. Asperger first described the syndrome that bears his name in an article published in 1944.
My middle daughter lives with Asperger’s Syndrome. Anyone who knows me, or has met my family will probably already know this.
If you meet my daughter, you might figure out something’s not quite right in the first 5 minutes, or it may take many months. It all depends on the day really. Some will never get it – they’ll just put it down to a badly behaved child, whose parents don’t discipline their kids.
Some people who have known my daughter for a long time want to believe that it’s brain damage (mental disorders have such a bad name for themselves), others think we should ask for drugs to help make her normal.
It’s that last comment that always gets me thinking. I mean what the hell is normal any way?
I have a theory, and I’ll be honest and say that it’s not a very solid theory (I’ll let you be the judge of that), as it’s only based on my observations of my daughter, and to some extent her best friend (who also lives with AS).
The thing with my daughter is that she has an amazing capacity to love, to forgive and to feel empathy for others. She has tremendous difficulty lying – the only times we find her lying is when she’s trying to get her sisters out of trouble.
But as mentioned above in the definition of AS, she also has impaired social skills. For one she’s far to trusting, loves almost everyone she meets, immediately. She knows no social boundaries or personal space and when she gets stressed out she seeks solace in solitude and the occasional DVD.
What stresses her out? Crowds, noise and in-justice.
So what’s my theory?
My theory is that it’s not my daughter that struggles to fit into society; it’s society that struggles to fit my daughter. You see I’m beginning to believe that maybe God intended us to all live with the joys of AS, that it’s only as society has grow and become consumer focussed that AS has become a mental disorder. It’s only as society falls further away from God that we turn our back on people who have this unconditional love. This innocent wonder. This desire to see justice.
My theory continues, along the lines that God intended us to experience AS. My theory continues along this line because I know where the perfect place for my daughter to live is. It’s in the Garden of Eden.
You see she loves animals. Animals have a calming effect, whilst also getting her excited (I know I just contradicted my self, but it’s true). And living in that wonderful place with only the animals, the man of her dreams (no crowds) and God.
That’s right, my daughter loves God, she just finds it difficult to find a place of worship that accepts her for who she is (we recently have found a place) but in the Garden, she could have called out to God and he would have played with her, rolling around in the grass tickling her. He would have loved her sense of humour (she has a great one!) and most importantly understood that everything she did, was coming from a point of love.
I’m not sure why I’m writing this – it’s probably spurred by a recent incident that she witnessed where an authority figure encouraged her and others to bully someone – she was the only one to refuse. It caused her much emotional pain. I’ve been mulling it over in my mind today, and just can’t seem to get sleep, so I figured I’d start writing and see what came out.
That’s all. If you read this, leave a comment, tell me what you think and more importantly tell me what you feel.
2 comments:
Blimmin plagerism.
http://my-faith.blogspot.com/2006/03/aspergers-syndrome.html
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